LINDA TRACE DESIGNS

crafty adventures of a makeup loving Japanophile!

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Sunday, 8 July 2012

Short Blogging Break

Hello friends!

A personal post today, I'm going to be taking a short blogging break. An intentional one. (feel free to stop reading now if you don't want to read me blabbing on :))

Since starting A Blog Named Hero (which is SO much fun, but quite a bit of work), I've been inadvertantly neglecting this blog, and that's not what I want to do (nor was it my intention.)

This, coupled with being in a bit of a BLEH place in my head, has lead to me being constantly stressed out over NOT blogging, over WHAT I'm blogging, and how often I blog (or dont blog :))

Case In Point: I'm trying to catch up with several weeks of Project Life at the moment and instead of enjoying it, revelling in the fun and amazing thing that it is (and what the album will be when its done), all I'm doing is rushing through it, throwing stuff in pockets, wishing I didn't have SO many weeks to catch up on and grumbling about all the other crafty things I'd rather be doing instead.

Madness.

Case In Point: Until recently, I spent 6 years living in the city I grew up in, unhappy, wishing I was living in a different city, several factors were involved, but one of the major ones was that I simply didn't like the city any more. We now (finally) live in the city I dreamt of coming back to, that was the only reason I got up in the morning (the thought that we'd come back some day) and I'm blind to it. I still love the city, but everything else, every other tiny, inconsequential, frustrating, annoying, blah blah blah thing that crops up in life, is weighing me down and I'm missing it.

Madness.

I'm missing the lives of my children because all I can think of is how much I wish I could have 5 minutes "peace" (and 5 minutes without having to wipe up spills, change diapers, discuss why a cartoon bear was mean to a cartoon rabbit etc etc).
I'm petrified of losing on (or both) of my children and then realizing that I wasted their precious lives wishing they'd give me 5 minutes alone. (I'm petrified of losing them at ALL)




Madness.



I'm missing MY OWN LIFE because all I can think of is how I wish the wall colour was different, or that the backyard was 'fixed', or that my blog was my job (when all I do is NOT post on it). I have all these intentions and hopes and plans, but I'm not L.I.V.I.N.G.

Madness.

This is NOT who I want to be. This is NOT the kind of mother, wife, friend, PERSON I want to be.

SO I'm going to try to fix it. I'm going to 'pare back'. Get rid of the excess, get rid of the negativity, get rid of anything and everything that doesn't make me JOYFUL.

That's my new word too. My mantra. JOY-FUL. JOY. FUL. full of Joy.

Yes :)

I'll be back in a couple of weeks. August 1 at the very latest. (But probably sooner).

Thanks for bearing with me :)

Linda x

16 comments:

Ryan Scott said...

While you're busy beating yourself up you wrote an amazing post that catches the emotions and stresses we all deal with.

Get back quick.

rcwidow (Linda) said...

We all feel overwhelmed sometimes. Take care of yourself and hope you are feeling less stressed soon.

Ruby Craft said...

I don't know any Mom who hasn't felt this way at some time in her life. Even my Mom, Even me. I remember when I was expecting my first, My Mom warned me they would be days like this. Here's wishing you a sprinkling of 5 minutes of joyful moments through out each day.

Kelly Rasmussen said...

big hugs to you, sweetie! smile. :)

lenny said...

I hope you'll feel better in a little while ...
It's totally understandable!
Very catchy blog post though, nicely written.
Take your time,
find yourself,
and be
JOY-FUL!!
Big hug XX

Joy said...

Thinking of you and sending loads of hugs and support....

Leslie Hanna said...

Oh, man, I went through this last year - I was busy busy busy but not loving what I was doing, and I don't even have little kids at home. I don't know how you crafters with little kids get ANYTHING done. I am in awe of all of you.

I took a break. I canceled my monthly SU classes and took a year off from the weekly farmers market. Breaks are good. I'll probably go back to doing the markets next summer, as I realize I need structure in my world or I become a slug.

Also, blogging is something you WANT to do. It's yours, for you. If it's an obligation, don't do it. You need to read this: http://www.tartx.com/blog/?page_id=233. I have that linked on my blog to remind me it's NOT an obligation. It helps.

We'll be here for you when you feel like posting. That's how it works, babe. xoxo and <3

Yainea said...

I love your post. I think the most amazing thing is that you've realized about all this in time and you can fix it! I'm a bit stressed lately so reading this was very useful for me, too :)
I hope you feel better soon, hugs!

Melissa Shea said...

I think you were brave to put in writing what a lot of us feel everyday. We get so caught up in the "excess" that we miss the "right now". I think having the virtual world has added a lot of "excess" that is easily accessible to all of us. It takes up WAY more time than we intended. I have to tell myself "be in the moment", "be in this moment", "enjoy right now".

I wish you JOY! I wish you PEACE! I wish you pure HAPPINESS!

Big hugs my friend.
xoxoxo

Barb Ghig said...

Sending you lots of support! I often wonder how you girls manage to juggle everything (I don't have a blog, and my children are grown).

Being totally stressed out is not worth it!!! Take a deep breath, enjoy your family, and we will be here when you're ready to come back!
TAKE...YOUR...TIME!

(((HUGS))) to you!!!

Stacy B said...

Linda, thank you for your "brutifully" honest post.(Word stolen from Momastery's blog). Everyone needs time to recharge...you certainly don't have to justify that to any of us. Your blog followers will be here whenever you return. All the best!

Jean said...

Hugs to you - enjoy your recharge time! For me, the time when my sons were young was by far and away the most stressful time of being a mother.

Chari Moss said...

Breaks are a much needed necessity that we tend to overlook. I'm happy you have realized you are missing out on important stuff and need to take one. I hope you come back soon though because you will be missed! :)
Hugs! xoxox

Lisa Carroll said...

Understood and respected. :) I go through this a lot myself. Everything can get so overwhelming at times, and the guilt that accrues from neglecting this or that becomes overwhelming in and of itself. I take a lot of breaks, too... I'm just never brave enough to say anything about it, so kuddos to you for that. Lots of hugs of support and understanding. xo

Lisa - papergrace said...

Love you so, so much, Linda. You are a brave woman, a wonderful mother, a fabulous wife, and amazing friend. Your blog post is so touching and heart-felt, but you should never beat yourself up for wanting to take a break. Read over what Leslie said. She's right, y'know.

Your blog will still be here and your friends will still be here whenever you decide to come back. Blogging is something you should be doing because you want to. Not because you HAVE to. HUGE hugs...always. ♥ ♥ ♥

Danielle said...

The biggest thing is that you got to the root of the problem and you're working to fix it! That's the beauty of this life, tomorrow is a new day and you can have a fresh start! Your family is so lucky to have you, because you do care enough to make a change! Take your time and enjoy it all! But still tweet so we can talk ;)