ramble

Hey there.

This is going to be a bit of a ramble/vent-session, so feel free to not read this post lol

This past few weeks have been blerg. You know when you feel like you need to make a change in your mindset and just forget all the baggage and just focus on how amazing life is (or can be), and you do your best to be positive and grateful and just generally excited to be alive (instead of worrying, thinking about all the 'stuff' that's happened in your life, how hard things can be, let the little things get you down etc).

That's what I did a few months ago (again). I generally try to be really positive and upbeat. I try so hard to be the best mum that I possibly can be. I want my children to remember having fun and learning so much from me, I want them to remember their childhood as us playing games together, baking together, snuggles, laughter and all the good things. I want to love  my life, not just be in it. I want to participate fully and actively in my family. I really decided to make a change, be positive, PROactive (not reactive), enjoy all the moments, whether they be positive or negative.

But these last couple of weeks? It's been hard to.

After SEVERAL weeks of to-ing and fro-ing and many MANY problems, we finally finally have a new home. We bought a house in Melbourne (which is on the Southern East side of Australia, the total opposite to Perth where I live now). I'm so excited to have our own home, but all the blech that happened just to get it? Kinda took the sheen off it. It will still be wonderful and exciting to have our own space (not that I'm not hugely grateful to my mum & dad for sharing theirs with us so amazingly), but couldn't we just have had a smoother ride than that? I'm not trying to be a big whinger, but seriously?! Why make it so so so so rotten a time that we just ended up wishing we could cancel the whole sale. blerg

Then there's this blog. I love my little blog, but I just never seem to really find the time to dedicate to it that I originally intended and to be honest? It's a little lack-luster. I had, in the beginning, hoped that by sharing my work, I could eventually work on a design team (which I did for a short time and truly loved.) but since the store closed and my DT 'job' ended, I've felt really lost creatively. I feel like I'm just kind of talking to no-one and that my crafting is leading nowhere.

I realise fully how ridiculous that sounds, given that crafting is supposed to be a way to express yourself and indulge in a wonderful hobby (with wonderful people in it) but lately, it hasn't felt that way. I always feel guilty when I don't blog and then when I do for a while (such as when I started the 'Inspired By' theme a few weeks back--which I had fully intended to continue with until all of us were struck down with the flu), I end up frustrated that I need  to blog (because it's been so long).

SO, with that in mind, I think I'm going to take a short break.

From blogging. 

An actual intended break.

It may only last a week, it could be a month, it could be more.

I need to sort my head out and figure out what I want from my blogging experience. I am a very conversational person. Don't get me wrong, I love silence (and being silent), but I hate talking to someone who doesn't respond (just ask my husband lol)

And I get it, a lot of people read blogs on google reader *points to self* and that makes reading blogs easy, but responding to/commenting on blogs less easy. People are busy, people don't have anything to say I GET IT. But right now, it's leaving me disappointed and feeling like I was talking to a group of people and when I looked up, they'd all walked out of the room.

Leaving me talking to open air.

Even as I'm typing this, my brain is racing ahead saying 'write something about what you'll do when you come back to blogging'. which is a sign I don't want to stop altogether, a sign I haven't lost hope that this blog could lead to something amazing. *i dream that it does*

But for now, I need a break from the disappointment.

I'd like to add in a very big (but short) disclaimer. I DO read the comments from those of you who leave them. I love you so much for taking the time from your busy lives to do so. It fills me with SO much joy when I do get comments. But when I don't, it's just like being in high-school again and feeling like everyone is rolling their eyes at you, when you thought you'd done something awesome. You know, that really excited fluttery feeling in your stomach (at the start) then a PLUMMETING weight thudding down, leaving you in a cold sweat.

Well maybe not quite that dramatic, but you get the point.

I want to get my head 'in the game' more. I want to be more organised with my blogging, I want to participate in more events/challenges etc. I want to get my name 'out there'. But right now, my head is just too full of other life stuff.

I don't think I'll ever be Ali Edwards *oh to dream* or Kelly Purkey *again, cue dreaming* etc. but I don't want to be disheartened if this blog doesn't lead to some big exciting high-faluting

SO, please don't take me off your Google reader (or whatever you use), because I WILL be back. I promise. I'm just taking a blog-cation and having a bit of a break.

I hope you understand :)

Love 

Me x